Dating and Domestic Violence
Relationship violence, also known as intimate partner violence, includes both domestic violence and dating violence. Domestic violence and dating violence cut across lines of race, nationality, language, culture, economics, sexual orientation and religion. Nearly one third of American women report being physically, psychologically or sexually abused by a boyfriend, husband or partner at some point in their lives. But, this form of violence affects people from all walks of life. Many people who think about domestic violence think about women who are battered by men, because that is the norm. However, it is not unheard of for women to abuse men or for one partner in a same-sex relationship to physically abuse the other.
Dating violence and domestic violence are crimes. If you believe you are a victim of domestic violence or dating violence, contact the police and/or your local domestic violence program.
Partnership with WEAVE
WEAVE is the primary provider of comprehensive domestic violence services for the Sacramento region. We partnered with WEAVE to designate a confidential advocate who spends five hours per week at each of the four Los Rios main campuses.
The confidential advocate's primary role is to support people who report sexual assault. The confidential advocate also provides tailored education workshops for students and employees and assists in developing prevention and awareness programs.
What to Do if You Are Abused
What to Do if Your Spouse, Date, or Intimate Partner Abuses You (Or Your Children)
Call the police immediately. The police are obligated to protect you and arrest your attacker. If a police officer does not arrive within a few minutes, then call again.
- When the police arrive, cooperate with filing a police report.
- Write down the police officer's name and badge number.
- If the police arrest the batterer, then that person may be released in a short period of time. Take immediate steps to protect yourself and your children from further abuse, such as obtaining a protective restraining order from the court. Seek safe housing from a local domestic violence program.
- Save all the evidence of what happened to you. Save the clothing you were wearing when you were attacked. Take color pictures of your injuries. If you required medical attention, then get a copy of the medical record. Ask for a copy of the police report.
Above all, be safe. Take the following steps:
- Call friends, relatives, neighbors, or a domestic violence program to help you.
- Reach out to the WEAVE Confidential Advocate and share what has happened to you.
- Find an emergency shelter.
- Emergency shelters keep the shelter address confidential so that you are safe.
- A person from the shelter may be able to arrange to meet you and your children at a neutral place to take you to the shelter.
- You will be asked to keep the address of the shelter confidential.
- The shelter may be able to help you find a temporary shelter for any pets you may have.
- If the shelter is full, then you may need to consider other resources, such as friends or family.
Warning Signs
The following are the warning signs or "red flags" of a potentially abusive partner:
- Jealousy of a partner's time with co-workers, friends and family.
- Controlling behavior (closely monitors a person's comings and goings and/or money, and insists on "helping" a person make personal decisions).
- Isolation (cuts a person off from all supportive resources such as friends, co-workers and close family members).
- Blames others for his or her problems (unemployment, quarrels – everything is "your fault").
- "Playful" uses of force in sex (may throw a person down and hold him or her during sex, may start having sex with a person when he or she is sleeping, or demand sex when a person is ill or tired).
- Verbal abuse (says cruel and hurtful things and degrades or humiliates a person).
- Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde personality: Charming in public but abusive when alone.
- Past history of battering (has abused others but has a list of excuses for his or her behavior).
- Being afraid of your partner.
- Constantly watching what you say to avoid a "blow up."
- Feelings of low self-worth and helplessness about your relationship.
- Hiding bruises or other injuries from family or friends.
- Being prevented from working, studying, going home, and/or using technology (including your mobile phone).
- Being forced or pressured to do anything you don't want to do.
File a Report
Each of the four Los Rios colleges has procedures in place to support those who report sexual assault (which includes sexual violence, relationship violence, and stalking).
File a Report of Sexual Assault
You may file a report of sexual assault with police or a Title IX Officer. If you were assaulted while violating a college policy or a criminal statute (such as drinking alcohol on campus), please do not let it stop you from reporting the assault.
Get Support
If you know someone who is in danger of dating or domestic violence, or needs immediate help, call 911. We offer support services for students and employees who have experienced any form of sexual assault, including dating and domestic violence. We also have recommendations for off-campus support services.
Sexual Violence: Get Support
We offer support services for students and employees who have experienced any form of sexual assault. We also have recommendations for off-campus support services.
Sexual Violence: Help a Friend
If a friend or colleague has experienced sexual assault (including sexual violence, relationship violence, and stalking), there are ways you can help support that person.
Penalties For Domestic Violence and Sexual Battery
Though the penalties for domestic violence and sexual battery vary depending on the case, they often include:
- Three years of probation
- 52 weeks of domestic violence counseling
- A fine determined by the court
- Restitution to the victim in some cases
- Public work service
- Jail time in felony cases or cases involving severe injuries
- Criminal penalties for sexual battery, for example, include:
- Six months in jail for a misdemeanor
- Up to four years in prison for felony offenses
- Thousands of dollars in court fines
- Registration as a sex offender
- Restitution to the victim in some cases
Supplemental Resources
What to Do If You Are a Survivor of Dating or Domestic Violence
- Get to a safe place.
- Call a friend or family member to be with you.
- Breathe deeply and remind yourself that you are of value, and that what has happened is wrong and in no way your fault.
- Write down as much as you can remember about the assault and your assailant.
- Receive medical attention or an evidentiary exam as soon as possible.
- Get help:
- Report the crime to LRPD, your local police department, or your college's Title IX Officer.
- If you want confidential help and do not want to report the crime, contact the WEAVE Confidential Advocate at WEAVE@losrios.edu or (916) 568-3011.
- Contact WEAVE's 24/7 Support and Information Line at (916) 920-2952 to talk through your options and obtain support, accompaniment, and resources.
Your Personal Rights
You have the right to:
- Be believed
- Decide if you want a medical evidentiary exam
- Determine whether to report the assault to law enforcement and to the college
- Request that any inaccuracies in the crime report be corrected
- Request that your name not be made a matter of public record on the crime report
- Request that a friend or family member and/or a rape crisis counselor be present during the medical evidentiary exam
- Have a friend or family member as well as a rape crisis counselor present during all law enforcement interviews, college proceedings and court proceedings
- Sue the assailant in civil court
- If the assailant is held to answer in court, then in certain cases, have the assailant tested for the AIDS/HIV virus
Los Rios Reporting and Resources
To learn more about the investigation process at the college, and the rights of the reporting and responding parties, refer to the Los Rios Sexual Assault: Reporting and Resources Guide.
If You Are Accused of Sexual Assault
If you have been accused of sexual assault, then you have legal rights and Los Rios will treat your fairly during the investigation process.